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For dinner this evening, I took

executrix's advice and made an Asian-inflected Italian wedding soup. I shaped the leftover potsticker filling into tiny meatballs (I did add some panko so they would hold their shape a little better), fried them for a few minutes in some olive oil, then sauteed some ginger and garlic with them before adding chicken broth. I let it all simmer for about 15 minutes, then added some orzo and cooked it for another 12 minutes or so (on higher heat so the orzo would cook), and then stirred in an egg and 1/2 tsp of toasted sesame oil to finish it off. It was good! Not something I would have thought of myself, and I probably wouldn't go out of my way to make it again unless I had the chicken filling left over again, but it made for a good dinner.

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Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Mets vs Orioles on tv

musesfool

I made these easy chicken potstickers yesterday and they're really good, but instead of making the wrappers myself, I bought wonton wrappers (Stop and Shop did not have gyoza wrappers), so I could only fit about 1 tsp of filling per dumpling, instead of the 1 tbsp the recipe calls for. So I had a lot of filling left, even after making 44 potstickers. Next time, I'll buy two packs. Or just make the wrappers myself again, though that was time consuming. But I will have a couple more delicious meals this week, which is the important part. ♥DUMPLINGS♥

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Current Mood: okay
Current Music: Eagles vs Commanders on tv

musesfool

It's September, so I have started thinking seriously about Christmas gifts, and how do we feel about cookie boxes for co-workers? I haven't done it since the 90s and I would have to consider logistics since I would need ~10 boxes (how many cookies in each? several dozen? of 4 or 5 types?), so do any of you have any advice? If I plan it well, I could empty my freezer and start baking and freezing in November. And this would just be me carrying them to the office and handing them out, no mailing or anything, so that is not a concern.

I've been thinking of the following cookies:

chocolate chip
chocolate crinkle
confetti cookies (I'd use the seasonal sprinkles)
some type of shortbread
cranberry white chocolate or orange cranberry
oatmeal cranberry/mixed fruit
raspberry thumbprints

That covers the basics, I think. I wouldn't want to do anything too labor intensive (e.g., tricolor flag cookies) or that needed any kind of piping/decoration since I'm bad at that, but am I missing anything? Snowballs? Biscotti? Double chocolate chip? Linzer cookies? Snickerdoodles?

I know the traditional thing would be gingerbread, but I am 1. very meh on gingerbread, and 2. have never had any real success with it over the years. I have tested recipes for all of the above that I would feel comfortable making and giving, and cookies generally scale up pretty easily.

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Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Bang - Empires

conuly posting in

agonyaunt

I married my husband more than 50 years ago, when his three children were young. His first wife had left with them and was living with a man she later married. The children stayed with her until the youngest moved in with us at 12. Years later, the eldest, then a graduate student, lived with us for two years. We saw the middle child mostly at family gatherings. He remained closer to his mother and her husband.

My husband was devoted to family and eager to share his grandchildren’s lives. He spent much time with his oldest child’s children who lived nearby, and he visited his youngest child’s children, who lived in a neighboring town. But we rarely saw his middle son’s family. They pulled back after an incident in which hot coffee was spilled on their firstborn. Being shut out deeply hurt my husband. Consequently, I hardly know their children, who are now young men.

When my husband died five years ago, I inherited the house and bank account. I also own a small condominium, bought years ago with my savings. His other substantial financial assets were divided equally among his three children.

My will leaves the house to his youngest child, who hopes to live there, and the condo to his eldest and his spouse, who maintain it. The middle child believes both properties should be sold after my death and the proceeds divided equally among the three children.

I told him he expected an inheritance without fulfilling a son’s obligations. It became clear from our conversation that he considered his father emotionally distant and, as he later told his siblings, psychologically threatening to his children. That, he said, explained their distance. He also said he had tried years ago to discuss these issues with his father, who was unresponsive. Knowing my husband, I believe that is probably true, though neither the son nor his spouse approached me about it.

My ethical concern is whether my will is fair. The house was left to me, but it was marital property, mostly paid for by my husband, whose salary was many times mine. His income also enabled me to save enough for the condo. Should I change my will and divide the property equally among my three stepchildren? — Name Withheld

( Read more... )

isis

I was intending to post last Wednesday, but when I woke up in the morning I had way too many floaters in my left eye; a few years back this happened with my right eye, and I learned that this is something warranting an immediate visit to the eye doctor, so I called the office and got a mid-morning appointment. Fortunately it looks (again) like vitreous detachment rather than corneal tear (translation: not going blind today, hooray) but my eyes were dilated and I couldn't face sitting at the computer; even after my eyes returned to normal the floaters have been incredibly annoying, so I've been limiting my online time. Grr! (I've been writing this bit by bit all day...)

What I've recently finished reading:

Royal Gambit by Daniel O'Malley, the 4th Checquy Files book. Okay, this was a lot of fun, probably my second favorite of these behind the first. The protagonist is named Alexandra "Alix" Dennis-Palmer-Hudson-Gilmore-Garnsey, the twelfth Lady Mondegreen - how can I resist that, hee! Because of her aristocratic background, Alix (who can break bones with her brain) has been brought up as a friend to the royal family, and when the Prince of Wales dies unexpectedly (and unnaturally), she's assigned as lady-in-waiting to the new heir - his sister, who she attended school with but was never really close to - and tasked with solving the murder.

The royalty stuff was as over the top as the powers stuff, which kept it from being boring to me - I'm not into royalty stuff, but hey, all the ladies wearing bizarre varieties of tiara at a ball is as funny as the guy whose superpower is that he can turn into a tree. I am also really pleased that Shantay showed up again!

Pagans by James Alistair Henry, which (like the Checquy Files books, heh) I lifted from

merit's recommendations. This is a police procedural set in the modern day of an alternate history in which the Norman Conquest never happened: Britain is a "developing nation just off the coast of the Islamic Caliphate of Southern Europe", divided into the Celtic tribal lands to the west, the Saxon kingdom to the east, and the Democratic Republic of Scotland - part of the Nordic Economic Union - to the north. The world superpower is the Pan-African Unified States; Asia is a patchwork of warring nations, and the Americas are barely mentioned.

This makes for a super fascinating mishmash of modernity (cars, drones, mobile phones) and ancient culture (ritual tattoos, ceremonial seaxes, psychoanalysis via herb-assisted vision quest) that reminded me a little of the TV show Beforeigners (in which Viking era Norse start showing up in Oslo; the main character, the cop Alfhildr, reminds me a lot of the protagonist Aedith Mercia), and a little of B. L. Blanchard's Peacekeeper, which is similar in that it's police procedural set in the modern day of an alternate history in which North America has never been colonized (set in the big city of Shikaakwa, where the protagonist comes from his small village on the train of the killers of his mother's best friend, and for reasons that don't need exploring at this venture...) - though I think this book is much better.

The story centers on the apparent serial killing of members of some weird minor cult called the Fishers - because they have tattoos of stylized fish - and yep, that's exactly what you think it is, thus the title. This is all happening as the Unification Summit is about to get underway, so there are political implications; and the detective in charge, Aedith Mercia, has political connections. I really enjoyed this one, and I hope the ending means that there will be a sequel.

Speaking of this weird minor cult in something closer to our world, I also read:

Conclave by Robert Harris, which I found surprisingly enjoyable - surprising, because a thriller set during a papal conclave sounds very much not up my alley. What made it work for me was the close 3rd person narration by Cardinal Jacopo Lomeli, who as Dean of the College of Cardinals holds the responsibility of presiding over the conclave. Lomeli is a sympathetic narrator, who wants above all for the conclave to reflect the will of God - but he also has opinions about the primary contenders for the papacy, and struggles to reconcile these things. His position also brings him additional knowledge about these men, which also must be part of the mix.

I figured out the twist (more or less, such as it is) early on as I noticed the clue which Lomeli does not consider the implications of until later; I also guessed the ending. Which didn't make it any less satisfying! I know the movie version has a huge fandom, doubtless because of the actors playing the various cardinals. Though I was surprised to see they'd made Lomeli into an Englishman, as the nationalities of the various men is a consideration in the plot.

What I really tried to read but I don't think it's for me:

Children of Strife the fourth book in Adrian Tchaikovsky's Children of Time series. The library hold was so long that I ended up buying it; maybe that's why I can't seem to get into it. Well, it's still on my e-reader, I might try it again at some point.

What we recently finished watching:

House of the Dragon season 3 - it was enjoyable! Though some storylines are more enjoyable than others, and I admit that I was hoping certain people would die and just stay dead, you know? But I guess that would make for a less exciting story.

What we have tried out watching:

Black Mirror, the first episode (huh, of this season, not actual first, I just realized, though of course for this it doesn't matter), "Common People". It was extremely sharp and relevant - the subscription model of everything (which I hate in the real world) and the constant enshittification of products - and I thought about it for days afterward. It was also unpleasant to watch, and the idea of watching a bunch of unrelated dystopian stories was just too depressing.

Little House on the Prairie, the first episode of the reboot. I don't recall if I watched the original, but I certainly read the books. It struck me as the G-rated version of the Yellowstone prequel 1883; no swearing or sex or gratuitous death, utterly wholesome and predictable. Not sure we're up for this, either - maybe?

If you have a recommendation of a good series for us, let me know! Pretty much any streaming service. We like SF, fantasy, and historical, and are not really into contemporary drama. (Though I am thinking I'd like to give Slow Horses a try.)

We may try Star Trek Lower Decks, in honor of the series' recent OMG 60 year anniversary.

musesfool

this was me at 10 am this morning (remember, I start work at 9 am):

alt

But let's not talk about that! I woke up in the middle of the night absolutely CONVINCED I'd solved one of the many lingering mysteries in Dungeon Crawler Carl and then realized as I woke up a little more that no, I absolutely had not solved anything, and now I can't even remember what it was!

But I know more of you have read the books now, so let's discuss: ( Parade of Horribles spoilers )

So what do you think it was about?

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Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Can't Find My Way Home - Blind Faith

skygiants

I had sort of a doubled experience of the first half of The Master and Margarita wherein I was a.) having a wonderful time experiencing early Soviet satirical surrealism and also genuinely engaged with the novel-within-a-novel's Pontius Pilate fanfiction and b.) constantly gently shaking the book by its spine waiting for Margarita to fall out.

For those unfamiliar, The Master and Margarita is a Russian novel, written in the USSR between 1928 and 1940, about the arrival of the devil and his crew in Soviet Moscow with chaotic intent: among other things, to prove to the Officially Atheist Muscovites that he exists. The first two hundred present us with various unfortunates whose paths happen to intersect with the devil's chosen entertainments, and their variously useless efforts to appeal to bureaucracy to sort things out, which, of course, it cannot do.

Anyway, the satire in this section is very sharp and I would have been perfectly content with it alone had I not known there was a Margarita to come. My foreknowledge of this book was inaccurate in several respects, actually; I knew there was a Margarita, but not that she didn't appear for 200 pages, and I also knew there was a Master but I was sort of under the impression that he was in fact the devil, which is not true at all. The Master is a writer, one of the only people in the first section whose life was not ruined by the devil at all, but simply by the experience of Soviet literary bureaucracy, which destroyed him by trashing and rejecting the novel into which he poured his heart and soul.

(This is the internal novel about Pontius Pilate, which did in fact give me emotions about Pontius Pilate and his bad headache and his beloved dog. Sometimes Gospel fanfiction is good!)

So this is Book 1. Then in Book 2: at last! Margarita!! Margarita is the Master's lover, who has lost him, and his book which she also loved possibly even more than she loved the Master himself, and is languishing unhappily in her aggressively and unpleasantly normal married life when she receives an offer from the Devil: abandon her life and all social norms, become a witch, and play hostess at his big annual annual party. If she nails it at this crucial social event, perhaps she'll receive her heart's desire.

Margarita does not experience an iota of hesitation about this. Margarita is READY to become a witch. Margarita is not necessarily going to ENJOY the exhausting experience of standing for hours at a Satanic social event but she has COMMITTED and she is going to GIVE IT HER ALL. I was excited for Margarita to appear and I liked her as soon as she did, but I did not really expect her also to give me emotions, and yet by the end here we were. Satire gets you with sentiment when you don't expect it!

musesfool

I got a decent night's sleep last night and finally feel like a human being again - on Friday night I didn't fall asleep until after 4:30 am and slept for about 6 hours, which is not enough for me anymore. I did finally pick up my glasses though - I meant to duck out of work early to go on Friday afternoon (on our last summer Friday *sob*), but alas, work didn't allow for it, and by the time I was done, I was like, I don't want to go, for a variety of reasons. So I managed it yesterday - it ended up being really quick! And I really like my new glasses. I had grown displeased (aesthetically) with the ones I had early on, but last year my prescription had barely changed so I didn't want to spend the money on new ones. This year it changed enough - and I had put the money in my FSA - that it was worth doing. Then I came home and fell asleep on the couch, all baking and cooking plans out the window. *hands*

Today, I attempted this Smitten Kitchen peach cobbler loaf and while I liked the idea of it, it is a rare miss from SK, imo, at least as written. First of all, there is way too little topping for the size of the cake (and also the streusel should have cinnamon in it too, which I added). Second of all, the bottom and sides are overcooked but the batter under the top layer of peaches is still too wet/uncooked to eat. And yet my cake-tester came out clean repeatedly (I checked, since the recipe warns about it), so idek what the deal is with that. So that was a disappointment.

Then I roasted a chicken, which is never a disappointment. It was delicious, and will feed me again during the week, despite being the smallest roasting chicken you ever did see.

I know I owe answers to comments etc. and I am going to try to catch up but no guarantees. I'm just glad we're off tomorrow.

*

Current Mood: okay
Current Music: Seasons - Chris Cornell

magid posting in

agonyaunt

From the NYTimes Ethicist.

For a long time, I’ve processed negative emotions by writing in a journal. It helps me clear my mind and sort through my feelings, especially when I’m overwhelmed. When I was a kid, it was all about my parents. After getting married, I started to keep a journal of the fights I had with my husband in a Google Doc on my phone. It’s a record of what was said during the fight and how I felt about it. The first entries are from around 2018, but I started writing in it more regularly later on with the encouragement of my personal therapist. We would talk about the journal during our sessions.

About two years ago, while I was pregnant with my second baby, the conflicts with my husband became more intense. During our couples counseling sessions, I started referring to my journal — the records of our past fights and the feelings I had written down. I did this because my husband had different memories of our experiences during my first pregnancy. He then became suspicious of what the journal contained. I told him it was private, but he stole my phone and read through it while I was sleeping.

He was devastated by what he read. He believes it was an unthinkable betrayal on my part to keep a journal of only negative things about only him for years. He says I shouldn’t have presented it during couples counseling as an accurate description of our experiences or his actions. He is upset that I left out key details of all the ways he did show up for me in our marriage and for our kids. He is also upset that I kept it on Google Docs because if our kids discover it in the future, they will see a record of negative feelings about their father.

I feel devastated for him. The journal contains intense and angry emotions toward him. It’s my id — the worst part of me. And I hate that he experienced that because it’s not all of how I feel about him. When the dust has settled after all our conflicts, I have chosen to stay with him.

It has been over a year of fighting about this, and he’s still not over it. I’ve stopped keeping the journal regularly (it feels tainted), but it keeps coming up in fights.

Was I wrong to keep a journal of only negative things about my partner, to keep it private and to bring it up during counseling sessions?

( Read more... )

Posted because my first reaction is that Gdocs is not all that secure when compared to a site like Dreamwidth!

cimorene

Sent the passport application off last week with no problems.

Waiting now. No date has been set for the memorial yet. We haven't talked about buying tickets.

Feeling weird, a little surreal at times, kind of behind myself - that sounds like it's describing dissociation, but I don't think I'm dissociating - at least not normally. On the contrary, I've been ruminating on my dad almost constantly (in between reading, which I do compulsively when upset). But I don't feel up to tasks like deciding what to cook and timing it when Wax gets home, like I did the week before. Or like scrubbing things. I did do some laundry last week, but I forgot it in the machine two days in a row.

skygiants

Patricia McKillip's Song for the Basilisk arrived in our house recently courtesy of

genarti's library holds by way of a rec from

sovay last time she was over. I am pretty sure I read this one at the time it was published, because I'm pretty sure I read everything Patricia McKillip published between the years of approximately 1995 and 2010, but do I remember anything about it? Of course not! Patricia McKillip's books are infinitely rereadable because they to a one an inherent and somewhat miraculous quality of eluding all recollection.* But I just finished this one last week and I have in fact been trying to hold onto the memory with both hands before it fades.

*with the exceptions of Forgotten Beasts of Eld, my first and most formative McKillip, and sometimes the Riddlemaster trilogy if I concentrate very hard

The premise of this one is that there's been a coup in a Renaissance-esque city of music and magic, and the last survivor of the couped family gets sent to study a different sort of music and magic on an isolated bardic-school island that is much less Machiavelli and much more Mabinogian. There he grows up, has a failed romance, has a son, resolutely refuses to remember anything about his past until circumstances force him into it, and, having remembered, returns to the city of his birth to have his revenge, the city ALREADY being busy with a.) the production of the current ruler's annual birthday opera, this year starring said ruler's regrettably unmusical youngest daughter and b.) a badly-planned counter-coup being conducted by all his distant relatives who didn't get killed in the first coup.

The arrival of a mysterious musical stranger sends both the opera and the counter-coup spinning out in various unexpected directions. Also, the director of the opera is in love with one of the coup-ers, the unmusical daughter is awkwardly crushing on the baffled lost heir, and the lost heir's son has shown up off his own bat to pursue his own plan for revenge, confusing the whole situation further. Also also nobody's revenge plans have taken into account that the ruler has another, older daughter, who is unnervingly competent and has learned all of his sinister skills and is poised to take over as soon as he's off the chessboard.

Look at that! A whole McKillip plot, without reference to Wikipedia, details and all! Because it's McKillip, the book skips through all this in lovely little hops, occasionally pausing for a bit of deeply lyrical and evocative music-evoked magic that fades away like mist the minute you try and explain to yourself why it happened like that. And as usual I enjoyed myself very much, although I don't think the landing fully holds up to itself: ( spoilers ) I would have liked even more opera but I always want even more opera.

conuly posting in

agonyaunt

Dear Eric: After working 50 years, I recently retired. At the same time, the house next door to us was sold to a family with six children, ranging in age from newborn to 10 years old.

We do not have large lots. What was once my backyard oasis (I garden, read, and swim) is now a nightmare. Children literally screaming. I don't know what to do.

The father actually told me to enjoy my quiet summer because it's over. We have worked our entire lives for what we have accomplished, and I feel like it's been ruined in the blink of an eye. Other than moving, what can we do?

– Trouble in the Suburbs

( Read more... )

conuly posting in

agonyaunt

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Evan," and his mother, "Mitzi," tell people they are siblings. I love my boyfriend, but I don't feel comfortable lying for him, and I wish he wouldn't lie for his mother. Evan is in his early 30s. His mother is in her early 50s, though she tells people she is 10 years younger.

Mitzi has worked in the hospitality industry since Evan was a young child. Back then, she claims restaurant managers wouldn't give parents preferred shifts due to their childcare-related schedule conflicts. For her entire career, she has kept up the lie that she's younger than she is and childless, and that Evan is actually her brother. She now claims that if the managers she works for knew her real age, they would discriminate against her because she's older than the other young, hip bartenders.

Evan has worked with his mother at several restaurants and has helped her keep up the lie with co-workers and mutual friends they have met at various jobs over the years. My instincts tell me the real reason his mother doesn't fess up now is because she doesn't want to tell longtime acquaintances she has been lying to them for years.

I wouldn't want to blow her cover if this false narrative really protects her in her industry. There have been several instances where I have interacted with these misinformed friends, and it makes me extremely uncomfortable. Evan hasn't asked me to lie to his friends for him, but I know if I don't, his social circle would be confused and likely hurt. I don't want to lie, but I'm also scared of the consequences of telling the truth or accidentally spilling the beans. Please help! -- TANGLED WEB

( Read more... )

skygiants

genarti and I have been noodling around with another cowritten epistolary thing, which got us talking about epistolary books at our last crit group, which resulted in us going home with our friend's beloved copy of Regarding the Fountain: A Tale, in Letters, of Liars and Leaks, an extremely cute absurdist-epistolary mystery that neither of us had ever previously heard of.

The plot: the Dry Creek Middle School water fountain is broken! In search of a plain and functional replacement, the principal instead accidentally commissions a world-traveling Miss Frizzle-esque artisanal custom fountain artiste, who engages the Dry Creek fifth-grade class in a correspondence about their ideas for the ideal fountain experience [fish] [swimming] [etc].

But wait! The fountain situation is more sinister than it appears! The town of Dry Creek used to be the paradisiacal Spring Creek, until an ominous event thirty years ago dried everything up. Could it have something to do with the school water fountain? Could it have something to do with evil capitalism? Not to worry; the fifth grade class and their public history project are on the case. Despite all attempts to prevent it, Dry Creek Middle School WILL have a spectacular new fountain!

The book has a lot of fun playing with every single tool in the epistolary box -- fonts will change mid-letter as kids trade the page back and forth, Flo Waters frequently corresponds via elaborate foreign postcards, and the villains never fail to write on stationary that advertises their evil business ventures. An extremely charming way to spend a half hour (it will not take you longer.)

musesfool

Work this week has been Too Much and I am So Tired. I have a meeting tomorrow I have to get through, and then I have to go pick up my new glasses, and then I am Done. Until it all starts again on Tuesday, sigh.

RIP Gloria Steinem. Sigh.

*

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: ain't it funny how the night moves

conuly posting in

agonyaunt

Dear Care and Feeding,

My husband and I can’t agree on something our 11-year-old daughter “Shelby” wants to be allowed to do.

Shelby tried some coffee with sugar and creamer when she was at a friend’s house for a sleepover and really liked it. Now she wants to drink it at home. My husband and I drink it ourselves, but I think she’s too young for it, while my husband thinks it would be fine so long as it’s in small amounts. Who’s right?

—Coffee Clash

( Read more... )

conuly posting in

agonyaunt

Dear Carolyn: My husband’s son and his new wife came to visit us last Thanksgiving. They live far away, and this is their annual visit. While they were here, their No. 1 priority was to watch EVERY football game on television. My husband watched with them, in part because he also likes football and in part because he wants to spend time with them. I understand.

The problem is, I do not like football or sports or even television. There were a few times when I asked if anyone wanted to accompany me on a walk or a trip to the grocery, but nobody wanted to because they were watching football. I chose to listen to an audiobook in my room. I was not angry that they chose to do what they enjoy, and I don’t think I acted upset or disappointed. At other times, I hung out with the group, we went out to eat, etc.

My husband recently visited his son and wife, and my not participating in the family football-watching came up. They indicated that my not being in the room with everyone was rude, or at least unfriendly. This will come up again this Thanksgiving, and my husband has asked that I join them. Because of vision loss, I really can’t read while they watch television unless I wear headphones. My husband and I agree that would also be perceived as rude. Do I really need to sit and watch them watch football? I do like both stepson and his wife and want to have a relationship with them.

— Sidelined

( Read more... )

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Someone to fall back on

Reading

i like to dot 'em on the outside corner

he had his hands on the ball

i've still got yours blowing up inside my head

(no subject)

wednesday reads and things

somebody holds the key

(no subject)

and i'm lost behind

My Husband Read My Journal and Now He’s Furious. Was I in the Wrong?

Day 10

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(no subject)

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started humming a song from 1962

This letter is kinda silly

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June 2020

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